Gossamer
by IncredibleMeatza420
Summary: The Courier has to help Joshua after the Legion won the war at Hovver Dam. She's trying to escape the Legion and can only find solace in Joshua who will only help her escape in exchange for her own help with the Dead Horses.
1. Chapter 1

The Courier stood in front of me, awkward and confused, but so willing to help. She went by "Addie". Such a fitting name for a childish girl. She couldn't be more than twenty years of age. She can't even legally drink, yet she was so much more than delivery girl with a hole in her head.

She had the same fire in her eyes that I last saw of the Mojave. The fire that burned my sin to my flesh and forced me to bare my back to humanity.

Her hair was the color of red wine. Her eyes were green and, from what I could see from my seat, had flecks of amber. Her skin was the shade of freshly cut oak.

"Do you need me to do anything for the tribe?"

"I must, I expected another 'Courier Six'. We do indeed help here. We have trouble with the White Legs. Their main focus is to drive out the Dead Horses and destroy the land. They live only to destroy." I picked up a .45 and started to disassemble it.

"I can help with that."

"It's a nice change from the desolate land and cruel actions of humanity."

She shifted her weight onto her other leg and looked at nothing in particular. She was clearly nervous.

"Are you the 'Burned Man' the Legion doesn't talk about much?"

"I am." I put the .45 in a stack next to me and picked another.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you survive?"

"Informing others about what happened is only a continuance of my eternal punishment. I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me. I fell down into that dark chasm, but the flame burned on and on."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can get for you?"

"I can't accept your pity. But I can accept your offer for help though. We need these items in order to continue defending our home." I put the .45 down and started to disassemble the closest one.

"No problem. I'll get it as soon as possible."

"Your willingness is a pleasant surprise. I am honored to have you with us."

She looked around the room. She was avoiding eye contact. From the lighting, I could barely tell a faint blush on her cheeks.

"It's really nothing. I should go."

"Be safe, Courier. The fate of the Dead Horses may very well rest upon your shoulders from now on."

"Thanks for the pressure, sir." She turned around to leave.

"Call me by my name from now on. You make me feel old." I laughed at the thought of a young girl calling me 'sir.'

"Well, what is your real name then?"

"Joshua."

"I'm Addie."

"I know. The scouts told me your name."

"Are you just going to have your spies follow me from now on?"

"Why not? You're a valuable asset and you're still young. You barely know what it's like to live."

She stared at me blankly. "I crawled out of my own unmarked grave. I think I know what it's like to live."

"That's not living. That's surviving to appreciate the life you carelessly threw around and allowed to get shot up."

"What?" Anger flashed in eyes for a quick moment. "I definitely wanted to get shot in the head. Do you think that's what I wanted? I don't even know my own name. I don't know my age. Where I'm from. And I don't know where my family is. I can't even remember what my own daughter looks like."

Tears were welling in her eyes. She must be older than she looks, or she had a run of misfortune to be stuck with a child at her age. With her obvious bad luck, it was likely the latter.

"I didn't mean to offend. It was foolish of me to say that. I need my scouts to look after you." How idiotic could I be? I made her cry in just one sentence. When did I get so terrible with women?

She wiped her face and looked up with puffy eyes. "Don't bring it up. I just want to go home."

"I may provide that, but only with your help. You can't leave the way you came. The passage collapsed and the only other exit is heavily blocked with White Legs."

"God dammit."

I glared at her. She backpedaled into oblivion. "Don't use my Lord's name in vain."

"I apologize. It won't happen again. I swear to..."

"Swear to what? You don't swear on the Lord either."

"...I swear on my life."

"That's not very reliable, my child."

"I'll make a deal with you, Joshua. I'll stop swearing and using God's name in vain if you stop bringing up my life."

"Acceptable. You must leave soon. We need those supplies."

"Alright. I'll leave, You seem really thrilled to get rid of me."

"I can't tell if you're teasing or not, but we really shouldn't be joking around with a subject like this."

"I sort of was. I'll go now."

"Goodbye." I turned back to my desk and picked up another .45.

"Ave."

I dropped the pistol. "What did you just say?"

"It slipped. I'm just used to saying it back home."

"You're Legion? You are in pure lands. Was your original plan to take the Dead Horses?" My hands were shaking.

"The Legion won the war. I have no choice. And no, I actually came here to get away from them. I'm a 'war criminal'. They want my fucking head."

"Look my in the eyes when you say that."

"I'm running away from the Legion. They want me dead. And do you really believe that they would allow a woman to be the one to conquer a tribe?"

"Humans are unpredictable. Women, they're the crazy unpredictable. Men, they're the deadly unpredictable."

"Nice to know that you still keep the Legion's views on women. Did they drill that into your head like 'Mars'?"

"I am nothing like the Legion anymore. As for Mars, people believe in what they can relate to. The Legion views themselves as gods trying to purify the lands around them. I only teach my religion to those willing to learn. I don't force my beliefs on those with ears deaf to Christianity."

"Well, Mr. Mormon, teach me."

"You don't truly want to learn. You only wish to prove a point. It's childish and disrespectful. Children should listen and obey."

"But I thought man only obeys to the Lord."

"The Lord is the highest authority figure, he doesn't instruct his children to do what he wants them to." 

"Why not? Does he think it's too hard?" I could handle her words of the past, but mocking my religion was too far. My body seemed to move on its own accord. I realized too late what I had done. I had struck her.

She stood her ground and moved her head to give me the look of true hatred that only a woman can truly accomplish. "Did you just fucking hit me?"

I stumbled on my own words. I couldn't bring myself to look her in face. The last thing I saw was a red welt fully covering the area between her eye and jaw.

"If you think that I'm fucking helping you now, you can just go fuck yourself." She turned on her heal and stomped off.

_What the hell have I done?_


	2. Chapter 2

Her red hair trailed behind her like the blood of so many tribes conquered by the Legion. She was everything I had left behind and now, I am following back home. Like the Legion, I had hit her and she left me when I needed her most. I was supposed to protect her and I failed.

She is the Legion. She is what has cleansed me with this purifying flame, yet I still follow her.

She spun around and glared at me with those eyes as green as the grass by the river.

"Why are you following me? Are you going back to your roots and plan on getting me alone and raping me?"

"I have absolutely no such intentions. I am terribly sorry for striking you, but these people really need your help here."

"Well, these people can go fuck themselves."

"I would appreciate that you remain respectful of these innocent people. They haven't done anything. If anyone should be punished, it's me."

"What, are you going to hit me if I'm disrespectful again?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"I have told you that I am sorry. What more do you want? What can I do for you to help these people?"

"No. You fucked up. You fucked up for yourself and for them."

"And they didn't. Please, there are children here. Without you, there's a very minuscule chance of them living another few months. These people won't survive without your help. There's potential in these people. Generations of worthy individuals." I could hear the whining in my own voice but they needed my help even if I had to beg.

"Let's finish this outside."

"As you wish."

We stepped out into the sunlight and shielded our eyes. She took the path down to the river and took her shoes off to dangle her feet in the water. I sat next to her but not too far and not too close.

"So, what will it take for me to convince you to help these people?"

"A life of pre-war luxury and a pet dragon."

"I believe I may be able to make arrangements." Maybe the Lord will bestow my old charm to win her back to our side. At least she was laughing.

"Actually, my face doesn't really hurt anymore. I would help you if I had a little reinforcement. I don't have my friends with me and I'm more of a 'strength in numbers' person." She started to kick up some water gently.

"Addie, if you don't mind me asking, why did the Legion win the war during Hoover Dam?"

She stopped kicking altogether. "Well, I had tried leading Vegas for independence but the Legion was just too strong. The NCR was wearing thin and I didn't have many allies outside of Vegas. The Legion had the numbers."

"I shall pray for the Mojave." I rolled up the sleeves of my shirt and pulled out a blade of pond grass.

"I don't really understand their way of thinking." She paused to grab a handful of sand and piled it on the shore. She repeated the process.

"They really do think that their doing the right thing. They believe that they should enslave drug addicts and whores to 'cleanse their bodies of the substance and sin'. In their minds, they're doing the right thing. A lot of the younger men believe the woman are enslaved as toys for them and shouldn't be considered living, breathing humans." I twisted the grass between my fingers. I placed the grass on top of the pile of sand Addie was making absentmindedly.

"I guess so, but they could find other ways to do that. They don't need to beat and rape them so they can stop doing drugs. That sounds like the worst anti-drug campaign parents tell their kids to scare them." She poked hole into the sides of the pile and patted certain areas of interest.

"What are those?" I pointed to the holes.

"Windows, they need to see when their mail is coming."

"Ah." I grabbed another blade of grass and twisted it. "There will always be flaws in a system. You can't make something perfect."

"This sandcastle is looking pretty perfect in my opinion."

"What?"

"It's a sandcastle. You know, a castle made of sand?"

"Why are we doing it?"

"Idle hands make for a beautiful masterpiece or mass destruction."

"You sound like you're reciting a bible verse. Proverbs 16:27. 'Idle hands are the devil's workshop; idle lips are his mouthpiece."

"You're an open bible, huh?"

"I am only carrying out God's will through the words of his chosen writers."

She seemed to be somewhere else as she built the sandcastle. "Does it still hurt? You burns, I mean."

"I never feel peace from smoldering pain all over my body."

"Oh." She stopped to give me a look of sorrow.

"I don't deserve your sympathy. What I do deserve every ounce of agony I feel."

"You aren't that bad of a guy now, so I think you should stop suffering."

"Are you implying I kill myself." I stuffed the blade of grass onto the castle.

"Are you insane? How did you get that out of context?"

"Usually, when someone says they need to stop someone's suffering, they imply death."

"Oh. I wasn't saying that. I meant that you should start looking for ways to heal your skin instead of make it so that it doesn't heal. You need to stop dwelling in the past and look for a brighter future. You can always try looking for things like ointment in those old doctor's clinics. I'm sure there were medical tents in a national parks back then."

"I understand. Not everyone shares your beliefs though. And besides, the tribals are too supersticious. They mark pre-war builings and caves with handprints because they see them as 'taboo'. They believe those places are haunted by vengeful spirits."

"I wisheveryone did think like me, though. Everything would be easier that way."

"Everything would be pure chaos."

"Oh ha ha." Sh punched me in the arm gently. It's been years since a woman had willingly touched me.

I had stopped feeling childish to get serious. There were more important things at hand. "We would really appreciate your help."

"I know. I never said I wasn't going to help you. I just need some reinforcement."

"You would have to meet up with Daniel. He is with the Sorrows. They may be able to lend you someone that can aid you in your journey."

"Where can I find them?" She threw her arm at me and it took me a moment to relax and realize that she wasn't attacking and instead, showing me her wrist appliance.

"What is this?"

"It's a Pipboy. I'll bring up the map." She turned a knob and a map had appeared. I would have to look more into this interesting contraption.

I touched the screen lightly and jumped slightly as the map moved.

"Have you really never seen one of these? It's touch screen."

"The Legion does not permit Old World technology. They believe relying on the Old World is weak and shows that they are incapable of providing it's own needs."

I moved the map around to find features that seemed familiar. It was highly probable that the map was from before the war. I recognized some bends in the river and openings of caverns. I pointed to the corner of the screen.

"That's where they are?"

"I'm very certain. I have seen old maps of the canyons from before the war in ranger stations but the river is always molding the lands to its liking."

"Now that I have a location, I should probably get going. I need to get there before it gets dark."

"I will pray you have a safe journey."

"Thanks I guess. I'll see you later." She dried her feet of with an old shirt from her bag and pulled her boots on.

"I think our sandcastle came out nicely." I wasn't lying. It did look rather nice.

"Like a gay kid whose parents are accepting of him." She said as she laced her boots.

"No comment."

"Good."

She stood up and walked away, her wine colored hair the last thing in sight.


	3. Chapter 3

The cave was dark and grimy as usual. The sun had faded and the night was coming alive. The stars were breathing life into the cold night sky. Looking through the cracks of the cave walls, I could see the dying flames of the tribe. Every few seconds, the darkness gave way to the unique light of a single firefly.

A face emerge from the darkness for a split second in the light of the bug. The shadows adding dramatic contrast to their pale skin, yellow in the light. They gently cupped their hands over the firefly. Light poured through their fingers like they had caught blinking sunlight. They disappeared in the crack and I was alone again with nothing but the ever-present burning sensation in my skin and my stack of pistols.

The cave was silent and damp. The only sound was the quiet dripping of water falling from the ceiling. The loud pattering of feet rounded the halls of the cave and into my room. Addie dropped her hands to her sides and the firefly drifted up and around the room.

"I should have expected the captor of the firefly was you." I picked up one of the guns on the table to find something to do with my hands.

"I couldn't make it to the Sorrows camp today. I wasted all my strength in the sand castle I guess." She seemed ashamed.

"It appears there is a little more to it than not having the energy." I placed the gun down and clasped my hands on the table awaiting her elaboration.

"Can I sit down?"

"As you wish. I will warn you that the sheet rock is damp."

"I don't care anymore."

"What is it that you would like to discuss, Courier?" I asked patiently.

"Just call me Addie, please." Her voice was slightly muffled in her arm.

"As you wish. Would you please say what is troubling you, Addie?"

She looked up with a slight sheen in her eyes. "What do you do when you feel really fucking horrible? I feel dead inside. I really came here to the valley to find somewhere peaceful, but no matter where I go, people need me. People only care about me when it's convenient. They never want to help me. I just wanted a nice place to die on my own terms." She wiped at her face to hide her tears.

"Addie, when I fell to what I hoped was my death in a seemingly endless chasm, I found solace in the fact people needed me. I understand how you feel. The pain never stops, but I have a duty to help these families."

"I'm not the only one who can help though. Why does everyone think that I am?"

"It's not that you are the only capable one, it's that you're the only one they trust."

She pushed her hair away from her forehead and I caught a glimpse of the legendary scar. What made the Courier special. "I guess. It's just so stressful and no one ever wants to think about me when I never think about myself." She rested her hand on her cheek.

"That is the nature of selflessness. Do not always expect something in return."

"Why can't I just die?"

"You have a daughter, Addie. What would she do without a mother?"

She choked out a sob. "She... barely... knows me!" She gasped in between words.

"And if you give in to your sadness, she will never get the chance to."

She was silent before letting out a loud sob. "She hates me and I don't even know where she is."

"How do you know she hates you? Children often say cruel things they don't mean before thinking about them. And you seem to need her as much as she needs you." I pointed out.

"She said she hated me. That's the last I remember about her. I miss her so much." She covered her mouth to cough. She seemed like she was trying and failing to compose herself.

"The faster you help us out with the White Legs, the faster you can get out of Zion and you can find your daughter."

"I know. I'll get to it tomorrow. I promise." She lifted her hand up on the table with her pinky raised.

"What is this gesture? I am vaguely familiar with it."

"Pinky swear. I pinky swear that I will help and get out of the Valley to find her." She wagged her pinky after her proposition.

"I understand." I entwined her finger in mine. It was more physical contact. She didn't mind touching me, unlike the women in the tribe.

"Joshua?"

"Addie?"

"I'm really tired now."

"You may sleep in here if you wish."

"I would like that."

* * *

><p>I sat at the table during morning prayer as I heard the Courier stirring. She had been tossing and turning all night. She was clearly troubled. On multiple occasions, I tried to wake her, but to no avail. It seemed that touching her shoulder had calmed her, but as I left her skin, she was back to whimpering about "radios and clouds." She must have had a serious past for her to have been crying and clawing at her throat. I had to hold her wrists after she dragged four trails of blood down her neck.<p>

"Good morning, Addie."

""Guh mornin-" she grabbed at her throat with a gasp, eyes wide open.

"You didn't sleep well. Would you mind telling me your troubles?"

Her hand left her throat as she shot me a glare. "Yes, I mind."

"Then I shall not force you to tell me what haunts you and your conscience. Are you hungry?"

Her hands fell in her lap and she stared at the cave wall. "Yeah."

"I can provide a variety of fruits and tea." I pulled a box of freshly picked fruit from under the table.

"I'll just have some water and some cactus fruit. Thank you." She paused with a half-hearted chuckle. "Not many people would offer me food."

"I don't see why not. During your stay in Zion, I feel I am responsible for you."

She turned her head towards me. "Do you just think I'm a child or something?"

"Of course not. I have an obligation to keep you safe here while you are visitor trying to help the tribe. And I don't believe that you're completely stable on a mental plane."

She stood up from the cot with her hands on her hips. "I am to!"

"I didn't mean to offend. I was just stating an observation." I reasoned. She was just being plain illogical now.

"Everything about that is offensive!" She stomped up to the table, grabbed the nearest fruit and stormed off.

_Lord, give me strength to not be an ass._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Lights burned into my skull. I clamped my eyes shut as much as it hurt to do so. I could feel a heat all through out my body. It felt like I was swimming in boiling water. My flesh seared to my melted clothes. I screamed out in pain but I was completely silent. I screamed again but my throat produced a rasping squeak.

Someone was shaking my shoulder and I could faintly hear a muffled voice. I focused on the voice over the smoldering pain in my entire body. It was my name. They were calling my name. I could hear them repeating my name as the voice got clearer and louder.

"Joshua!" Addie had a vice grip on my shoulder. "Wake the fuck up!"

I shouted in surprise and shot up on my hands panting.

"What is going on? You were screaming and scratching at your skin!" She grabbed my arm forcefully and thrust it in front of my face. There were visible red streaks in my bandages and rips in the cloth.

"Nightmare." I wrenched my arm out of her hand and turned over to try to go back to bitter sleep.

"Well, obviously." She huffed. She paused for a moment. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I looked over my shoulder to look her in the eyes. "No." I turned back and pulled the covers over my shoulder with great difficulty. Addie pulled the blanket up and rested the edge over my neck. She patted me on the shoulder before standing up to leave.

"Thank you." I mumbled under the blankets.

"Mmhm." She replied before leaving the room quietly.

* * *

><p>After tossing and turning an a futile attempt at easing the searing sensation to my skin, I gave up. Addie had gone several days ago and no one has seen her since. I can only assume she is trying to finish her next task with Daniel.<p>

As much I wanted to forget about the thought of her in danger, I couldn't. I stood up and holstered my pistol at my hip. I was going to find her.

The sky was painted a light pink with the late signs of dawn. The moon and stars were still out and the campfires were smoldering in the pits creating a serene atmosphere. The water sloshed around my knees as I waded through the river and out into the Eastern Virgin. The howling of Yao Guai in the distance was unsettling but I trudged on in my eager journey for signs of Addie.

I kept low and to the sides of the river and canyons until the river opened up to the campground. I slipped up the trail quietly. A gun shot sounded to the right and I ducked under a bush. I held my breath as several dirty pairs of feet passed and stopped in front of a picnic table. They spoke the White Legs language. I could only pick up a few words. Threats and taunts. Empty words on deaf ears.

They started to poke around shrubs with the barrels of their guns roughly. There were three of them. One of me. I don't know how many guns they have, but I have one. They were getting closer and I reached for my hip as quietly as possible. They were loud and reckless. They could very easily call for reinforcements if necessary.

My heartbeat sped up as the White Leg grew closer with every bush and tree he thrust his gun into angrily. My hand rested on my gun now in front of me at the ready. I could see his face threw the leaves. He was no more than two feet away. He smelled of Datura tea and gun powder.

I let out a shaky breath and laid my finger on the trigger. I was looking down the barrel of the gun that was getting closer to my face. The cold metal thumped once against my forehead. The White Leg gasped and threw hand into the bush. I held my breath, about to pull the trigger.

A thunderous roar tore threw the early morning air. The White Leg swung around to be face to face with a Yao Guai on its back legs. It brought its paw down on the man's side as he screamed and fired off shots into its neck.

The other two men were too frightened to move. I sat still in shock at the sight before me. The man was under the creature being torn to pieces. Another Yao Guai jumped down from the ledge and landed on the other two White Legs. Growling and screams in pain rang through the canyons as the men were quickly being shredded in front of me. Blood spattered against the walls of the cliffs and through the bushes. A drop of blood dropped through the leaves and onto the gauze on my nose. As quickly as it started, it was over. The animals stood over the bodies with blood dripping from their necks. The larger on sniffed at the air in my direction and stepped over the man and towards me.

This is it. This is where I die. I could finally properly atone for my sins against mankind. Its nose pushed through the leaves with ease and its bared teeth clanked against the barrel of my pistol. I shut my eyes and awaited my fate.

A whistle was heard a short distance from the camp. I opened my eyes in time to see the animal look at the source of the noise and a woman ran past the bush and jump onto the picnic table. Addie was standing on the table with a whistle. In her mouth.

The Yao Guai walked up slowly to her. I jumped out of the bush. "Addie, what the living hell are you doing? You'll get yourself killed!"

"I'm fine." She replied nonchalantly. The animals looked over to growl at me and continued towards her. She jumped down and they rubbed up against her gently.

"How are you doing that?"

"They're just big babies. I have this cool whistle that calms animals down." She held up an interesting whistle carved into the shape of a rabbit.

"Where did you get it?"

She shrugged and turned to give one of the animals a strip of meat. It pulled it out of her hand gingerly and rolled over to the ground with a lazy "oomph". The other nudged her hand. She pulled out another strip of meat and it snapped it out of her hand greedily.

"That's... something else."

"I like animals. I can't recall ever hurting one." She rubbed the fat animals on the stomachs. They rolled over onto their backs and growled with playful delight. They twisted their large bodies on the ground.

I held my hand out and she took it. "Where have you been?"

"Getting more shit to do more shit so I can just do more shit." She spat out bitterly.

"I'm sorry you were dragged into this, Addie."

"Don't be. I know I would probably just drag myself into it if no one else did."

I gave her my elbow and she wrapped her arm through it at my side as we walked towards the Dead Horses camp. We kicked up water with ever step. She turned to see the animals running off in another directions.

"There they go."

I cleared my throat as I tried to remember a lost scripture that would be relevant to the topic of the Dead Horses and Sorrows. "By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea we wept when we remembered Zion. Remember, O lord, the children of Edom in the day of Jerusalem who said, "Raze it, raze it, even to the foundation." O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed. Happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us. Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. Do you know what that means?"

She stopped in her tracks and looked at me with confusion. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"The Bible."

"I'm not that dense. I'm asking why you brought it up."

"I needed to talk about the situation at hand."

"Why are you talking about killing children with rocks, Joshua? Whatever you're wanting me to do, I'll do anything that doesn't involve that."

I stared at her in disbelief. "We aren't going to harm children."

"Then what does that mean?"

"The White Legs shall drag away the children of God and murder them along with their culture. They are a nasty people."

"Oh." She picked up the pace.

"Anything else you might want to ask?"

She looked up at the sky. The sun was coming up over the canyon. The sight was breathtaking. "How's the sandcastle?"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

By the time we reached the Eastern Virgin, the sun was directly up above the canyons. Zion seemed to spring to life on days such as these. The river rushed past our legs. Fish swam around our ankles. Trees rustled in the light breeze.

It was Babylon reincarnated. But just like Babylon, Zion had an enemy that will come in the night. Bash thy little ones against stones.

Addie kicked water up with her motion. Her clothes were soaked up to her waist.

"Why do you feel it necessary to do that?" I asked with a sigh.

"Do what?"

"Kick up so much water. Your clothes get heavy when they are wet."

"It's a good work out." She smiled.

My brow furrowed in confusion. "You do not need to work out in the slightest."

"That's not what my thighs scream at me when I wear a dress." She grumbled.

I looked down to see plump, healthy thighs. "They look fine."

"Made you look, though." She grinned mischievously. "And besides, I don't like them, so I'll get rid of them."

I laid my hand on her elbow to stop her in her tracks. My face was stern and edged with concern. "You do not need to lose weight. You look fine. Trying to lose weight where there is no weight to lose will be very dangerous."

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Her jaw set in a line and her eyes held something I could relate to more than she needs to know. Self-hatred, pain, and anger. She turned back to the river and set off into the canyons.

"You can't run away from your problems, Addie. You need to start with coming to terms with them."

"I'm fine." She grumbled without looking back.

"Addie, wait." I waded through the water to catch up with her.

"I said _I'm fine_." Her voice trembled.

"Don't just go off on your own when you're clearly upset. It's dangerous." I rested my hand on her shoulder.

"Or what? You're going to lose your precious savior?"

"I know what you are feeling. I know how poisonous it is for your mind."

"Stop. Just stop, Joshua." She shook my hand off. She glared at me with tears streaming down her face.

"Please, let me help you. I want to help. I don't just see you as the one who will fix our problem with the White Legs."

"Then what am I? Some Courier? That's what everyone fucking sees me as. I'm not a person to them." She wrapped her arms around her body protectively.

"Look at me, Addie."

She shook her head. "Joshua, please stop."

In that moment, I did something I hadn't done in years. I embraced her. "Addie, you are a person. A wonderful person. You don't deserve anything that has happened to you."

She wrapped her arms around my waist tightly. She sobbed into my chest loudly and shamelessly. I smoothed her hair down.

"I'm so sorry, Joshua. I'm such a bitch to you." She sniffled.

"It is alright. You were upset."

"It's not alright. I'm always such an asshole."

"You're going through a tough time right now." I held her at arms length and lightly squeezed her forearms. "We should hurry back and get you some rest."

She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "Okay," she whispered.

I dropped my hand to the small of her back and led her back to the camp. She stumbled every once in a while and held onto my shirt tightly.

People stopped what they were doing to turn and stare. I was known for not touching people, so this was a rare occasion for them. Addie pushed closer to me.

"Why are they all looking at us like that?" She whispered.

"They have never seen me willingly touch someone. We must be a sight."

She gazed up at me but I kept my eyes forward. We made our way through the caves. People stopped in their tracks to watch us closely with confusion.

"They're making me really uncomfortable," she mumbled.

I cleared my throat. "And God said, whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears."

The tribals quickly shifted their gaze and went back to their business.

"What does that mean?"

I chuckled. "It means 'mind your own business.'"

"Oh."

We passed through the winding caverns in relative peace. My chamber was dark and cool. I relighted the torches and riffled through boxes for pelt and blankets.

"Joshua, why are you so sweet on me?" Addie's voice was muffled by the blanket she pulled over her face.

"I was unaware I was treating you differently."

"Oh, well. I just assumed since you said you've never touched anyone else." She pulled the blanket over her face.

"It didn't cross my mind. You were upset and I felt it was my responsibility to take care of you."

"Oh. Okay."

"That doesn't mean I do not care about you, Addie. I don't want you to believe that for a fraction of a second."

She poked up from the blanket slightly. They corners of her eyes crinkled from a hidden smile. "I care about you too, Joshua."

An old feeling I thought was lost to me bloomed in my chest. It was like a tree was planted in my stomach and it grew throughout my body. It was getting increasingly harder to breathe. "I... I've forgotten what it felt like."

"What what feels like?"

"Caring and being cared for. It's nice."

"It is pretty nice."

I moved towards her with the blankets and laid them over her one by one. "Do you need anything else of me?"

She shook her head. "Just stay with me."

"If that is what you wish." I sat down with my back against the wall by her and crossed my legs. After several minutes, her breathing slowed. I opened my eyes. She was asleep. I closed my eyes again and the world went back.

* * *

><p>For the first time in I can't even remember how long, my rest was pleasant. No fires. No pain. No fear. Before I opened my eyes, I felt a warmth on my legs. I opened my eyes slightly to find Addie's head resting on my lap. Her hair was a mess, entirely covering my legs in red locks. I pushed her hair out of her eyes gently. Her lips were parted slightly and her cheeks were a light tint of pink.<p>

She was an angel sent from heaven.

She was Addie.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Some sex stuff, kiddos.

Chapter 6

Addie's hair swirled around my lap in dark red curls. I gently picked a lock up and rubbed it between my fingers. It was soft and smooth.

The light from the fires danced over her body. Her pale skin contrasted with her hair. In this moment, I wouldn't change a single thing.

Had it not been for being thrown into the canyons, I wouldn't have met the beautiful woman I see before me the way I have. I wouldn't be sitting in a dark cave with her head in my lap and hair pooling around my body. I wouldn't be admiring her sleeping form so close to me.

I wouldn't be falling for her.

She stirred in her sleep and her face twisted. Her whimpers escaped her lips quietly. She was having a nightmare.

"Sweetie, come to momma." She whined. "I'll keep you safe." Her fists balled up in the blankets.

I placed a hand on her face and lightly tapped her. "Addie."

She gasped. "Momma's coming."

I grabbed her shoulders and shook her gently. "Addie, wake up. You're having another nightmare."

Her eyes flew open and she sat up on her elbows, looking around the room frantically. "Where is she?"

"You were having a bad dream."

She looked as if she were lost when she looked back at me. Her chin quivered as a tear slowly trailed down her cheek. "She's not here?"

I shook my head solemnly. "I'm so sorry, Addie. She isn't here."

She held her hands up to her face. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed. Her hair curtained her body and swirled on the ground. A crying woman was one of my weaknesses.

"Come see, Addie." I pulled her closely.

She wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face into my stomach. "I miss her so much, Joshua. It hurts so fucking much."

"I know. When we can get out of the canyons, I want to help you find her. I don't care how long it takes."

She looked up with her dark eyes. "You'd really do that for me?"

"Of course." I smoothed her hair back.

She wiped her face. "Why?"

And again, my breath caught in my throat. The sight of her puffy face. Her teary, hopeful eyes. Her parted lips. The light dancing over the side of her face.

"Because I want to see you happy." I whispered.

She moved up from my lap. Leaning closer to my face as her shirt slightly slipped down her shoulder. "What else do you want to see?"

I could feel her breath grace my neck. "Everything."

She leaned forward further to catch my lips. She crawled up the rest of the way and straddled my lap. She went to move the gauze from my face. I caught her wrist and closed my eyes.

"You don't want to see me. Believe me." I opened my eyes again to see her confused and hurt.

"Okay. I won't make you do anything you don't want to." She laid her head into my neck and wrapped her arms around my neck.

I held her to my body as if she would disappear into thin air. She relaxed into my body with a sigh. Another moment I wouldn't change a thing about. Her breathing was slow and deep.

"Are you already asleep again?" I whispered.

She didn't say anything in response. I unwrapped her arms from my neck and laid her back down in the blankets. I stood up and sat down at the table. I needed to do something with my hands other than something that would make God cry. I set to cleaning my guns again.

Waking Cloud stepped into the light. "Joshua, there are more and more White Leg patrols around the canyons. Little Leaf was killed today by a spear."

"I'm sorry, Waking Cloud. I know that he was very close to you. If it brings you any comfort, I believe that Addie is almost done with helping Daniel. The battle should begin within the next week."

"She is still here?" The woman asked with a twinge of jealousy.

I eyed her sideways from my table. A growing stack of pistols rest at my right. "Yes, she is still here. Do you have any problems with her?"

"She is reckless and she's taking too long." Her eyes narrowed.

"She is still a human. She can't just do whatever we want her to do and on our schedule. She has a life."

"Is Joshua Graham going soft on the outsider?" She glared daggers at Addie.

"No. She just wants to get out as much as we do but we can't expect her to move faster than she already is. Even if I were to _go soft on her_, I don't see how any of that matter is your business. Is that all you wished to discuss?"

"You are going soft on her. Just remember who your family is." She crossed her arms.

"Everyone is my family. Now leave before you wake her."

She scoffed. "Typical outsider."

My gun slammed onto the table. "Say that again, Waking Cloud."

She stormed up. "Typical. Outsider."

"Get out." I could feel the old fires of the Legion begin to rise within me.

"This is our cavern. You don't own it."

"If you know what's good for you, you'll leave right now."

"Whatever. I didn't plan on staying any longer. It smells like wasteland in here." She sauntered out of the cavern.

My body itched to let out the old Legate. To hunt her down and make her regret ever being born. My hands shook too much and I decided it would be a good idea to stay away from the guns.

"What was that about?" Addie asked with voice heavy from sleep.

"Nothing," I muttered.

"Didn't really sound like nothing." She stated.

"Waking Cloud has unrealistic goals set for you. She said you are moving too slow."

"Dumb bitch." She stood up and I noticed her pants had disappeared somewhere and she was standing in a baggy shirt.

"Where are your pants?"

"Too hot. Kicked them off." She slumped over me from behind and hung her arms around me loosely.

Her chest pressed against the back of my neck and I could feel my pants get tighter.

"What are you doing?"

"You're clearly stressed." She sat up and rested her hands on my shoulders.

She started rubbing my shoulders and a groan slipped out. "You have no idea."

"I think I have an idea." She started kneading harder.

My head laid back and I closed my eyes. It felt so good. I can't remember the last time a woman had given me a massage. I could feel her lean into my ear.

"You wanna see everything?" She purred.

I nodded quickly. I couldn't speak. Her hands had moved to my chest and slipped under my vest.

"Why don't you show yourself?" She slid into my lap and pulled my head forward.

Her mouth was all over and for a moment, I wanted to take off my bandages to know what she felt like. She reached for my gauze again and I felt no need to stop her this time. The air was cold against my skin but the feeling was replaced with her hot mouth.

She moved to my ear. "You know what I want?"

"What do you want?" I growled into her ear.

"I want you." She whispered.

That was it. I crushed my lips to hers with a new hunger. She gasped in between breaths, grinding against my lap. I reached for her chest and began kneading her breast. She was soft and tasted like fresh banana yucca.

She tugged at the straps of my vest desperately without breaking the kiss. My hand dropped from her breast to the straps. I got them untied and she pushed it off. My bandaged chest was open to her. I felt naked.

My hand snaked down her toned stomach and down to her thighs. I slipped my hand into her underwear. She gasped into my mouth, egging me into her. I slid a finger in and she arched her back into me. I curled it and rubbed my thumb on the nub, earning a hushed moan.

"Joshua," she gasped.

My free hand wrapped around her hair and pulled her head back, exposing her slender neck. I kissed her jaw tenderly. She grabbed my shoulder and squeezed. The perfect mixture of pain and pleasure shot up my spine.

"I need you." She groaned.

"Say my name." I said into her neck.

"I need you, Joshua." She cried out.

"I know."

I picked her up and laid her down on the table. I withdrew my finger from her and pushed her shirt up. She pulled it over her head and threw it over her shoulder onto the floor. She was in her underwear on my table, open to me and only me. Her nipples perked in the cool air.

I was back on her in a moment. She wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling me closer to her. She reached for my pants and unzipped them. She tugged my boxers down.

"Someone's a little eager." I whispered into her neck.

"You're taking too fucking long." She chuckled.

I could feel her soft thighs rub against me. I pulled her underwear down to her knees and she kicked them off. I steadied myself above her with my hands on each side of her waist.

I pushed into her slowly. She was so warm compared to the cold air of the caverns. She bit her lip as she let out a moan. She was so tight.

I pushed into her all the way. She adjusted rather quickly, thankfully. She grabbed onto my arms for support. I pulled back until I was almost out and thrust back into her. I couldn't keep the groan from escaping even if I tried. She arched under me. I thrust again, earning another loud, long moan.

"Say my name," I growled into her ear.

"Joshua," she purred.

"Whose girl are you?"

"I'm yours." She whined.

I pushed into her mercilessly, grunting with every thrust. She gasped and moaned into my mouth. Her mouth was hot with lust. She was getting tighter and I thrust in harder and faster. She twisted on the table.

"Joshua!" She clamped down on me tightly.

I thrust faster as pressure began to build in my groin. Her spasms only brought me further and further over the edge. With an animal-like groan, I released in her.

She laid back on the table trying to catch her breath desperately. I sat in the chair with a thump, panting. She sat up on her elbows.

"I'm really tired again, Joshua."

"Got it."

I used my remaining strength to pick her up and set her on the bed. I laid back down beside her and she curled into my side. I pulled the blanket over us and rested my head on the pillow next to hers.

"Goodnight, Joshua."

"Goodnight, Addie."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

During my long awaited rest, there was no pain or suffering. There was no burning fire or searing skin. All I felt was her warm body entwined in mine. Addie's skin was smooth and wasn't scarred from the fires of her past.

No. She was burned with invisible fires. Scars that a naked eye cannot see. The difference between me and her is that she doesn't let her scars restrict her life.

Her light snoring and smooth lips pressing to my neck brought me back to conscientiousness. With a groan, I turned my head to look at her.

Her head rested on the pillow. Hair covered half of her face, sticking to her mouth in places. She looked so peaceful. The sight brought the hint of a smile to my face for once.

She grunted and turned onto her back, tossing an arm over her face. She slid a hand down her face and pulled her hair out of her mouth. She sniffed and looked over.

"Morning Addie."

"Morning," she whispered.

"Sleep well?"

"Best I have in years. You?"

Looking her in the eyes the way we were made my skin burn again. It wasn't a painful burning anymore around her. She was so breathtakingly beautiful. She didn't turn her head in disgust last night when she saw my skin. She was too much to ask for.

"It didn't hurt to sleep last night." My throat was dry when I spoke.

Her brow knit together in concern. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that every night since the fires, I have relived it in my dreams. I can feel the burning skin and it's like I was there again. But last night, there was no pain."

I dared look her in the eyes and found pity and sadness.

"Come see." She held her arms out.

I nuzzled her chest without hesitation. She wrapped her arms around me and I felt an intense feeling of belonging. I belonged with her. In her.

The thought brought the renewed sense of arousal. It wasn't the angry stress arousal. This was something more intimate. I need to be with her above all others.

She smoothed the back of my head. I ignored the itching it brought on from the irritation of the scars. I did it for her.

"I should probably get going. I need to finish up the business with Daniel."

The mention of another man filled me with jealousy. It coursed through my veins and contributed to my arousal. I needed to have her. She dare not say another man's name while she lay with me.

"Someone is feeling frisky." Addie purred.

I through my leg over her and held myself above her. "Don't say his name."

"Is someone jealous? If you haven't noticed, I'm here with you and not him. If I wanted to fuck him, I'd be doing it right now." She scoffed.

I growled into her ear and shoved my hips to hers to give an idea of what she was dealing with. "If I didn't know any better, I would think you were doing this on purpose."

She wrapped her arms around me once more and pressed a long, heated kiss to my lips. "Maybe I want to get you riled up. You can think what you want."

I grabbed fistful of her hair, yanked her head back harder than intended as she yelped, and leaned in to her ear. "You should be careful when playing with fire."

She looked at me from the pillow, her head still back. "I wanna feel your burns."

Her words hazed my eyes with smoldering lust. "Whose are you?" I growled.

"I'm yours." She whispered.

"Say my name." I readied myself at her thighs once more.

"I'm Joshua Graham's girl."

She gasped as I pressed into her opening. She was almost ready for me. A trail of kisses led my way from her collarbone to her swollen lips. Her tongue traced my teeth, enticing mine into her.

"I'm yours, Graham." Her eyes were hard but steeled with lust and desire.

"I'll make everyone know you are." I moaned into her mouth.

"Take what's yours." She gasped.

I slowly pushed into her, eyes shut tightly. I was taking what was mine. **She is mine.**

She arched her back into me with a moan. I pushed into her once more, taking my time. She was impatient and needed to learn a lesson. She raked her nails down my back, adding to the pleasure. She was so unbelievably tight. It made me light headed and stars flashed behind my eyelids.

She writhed under me in the most amazing ways. Her breast pushed up into my chest and I slid my hand over one. She gasped as I kneaded her soft flesh, rubbing my thumb over her bud. I thrust into vehemently and erratic. Addie pulled me closer down to her ear.

"Who am I for?"

"You're mine." I growled.

A spur of new found energy brought me back to rough riding her until she screamed. She tossed her head back onto the pillow and she tightened. Her nails raked up my back to the base of my neck. I grabbed her by the thigh and pulled it up to her chest for a better angle. I pounded her into the ground as she held on for dear life. With a groan, I let go of myself. Stars flashed under my lids and waves of euphoria shrouded my body.

I rolled over to her side as she caught her breath. I threw an arm over my head and the other around Addie's shoulders. She curled into my side and wrapped her arm around my chest.

"I really need to start working on getting everyone out of here." She mumbled.

"Yes, but for now, you're mine."

"I am yours, Joshua."


End file.
